Gothic Marble Castle

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
eldritchmochi
eldritchmochi

image
image

more of mochis fit backlog 19/????

behold!!! the start of Quarantine Outfits. in march??? 2020, there was a quarantine coord challenge folks were doing for entertainment. i did a couple before getting bored BUT it did spur me on to wearing the most Extra outfits for working from home (yes i got better at taking pictures ignore the beacon of gondor up there in the corner)

bonnet: indie brand i am so sorry i Do Not remember it was french

skirt and belt chain: lady sloth spirit board

blouse: unique vintage

shoes: bordello

Day 2

Found out last night that I’ll probable never talk to Adolpho again, which breaks my heart and makes me feel so angry at myself and so, so guilty, but that was also oddly freeing to learn.

It’s weird, I love him to absolute pieces, and I may never even get him back as a friend, but it feels like now I almost have permission to stop constantly thinking about him. If he wants me to put in the work to gain forgiveness, I gladly will, but as it stands, it’s unlikely. So, in my mind, if you love someone, set them free, and if having to contact with me would make him happier, then I’ll withstand it for his sake.

Again, this does make it easier to stop obsessing over him, and to give Niani the attention he genuinely deserves, even though some of my hopes and dreams are crushed (all be it by my own doing).


I’m still making an attempt to improve myself, maybe a tiny bit in hopes Adolpho will forgive me, but mostly for Niani and preserving and improving our relationship.

update daily life selfish heartache self improvement self growth

Day 1

starting a daily sorta blog to track my progress.

Me and my partner (let’s call him Niani, for privacy sake, not his real name) decided we both have some issues we need to improve on in ourselves, and we’re going to take til the end of the month, which is 21 days, to see how much progress we can make in that time.

My list is:

  • Try to work on developing a more healthy attachment style
  • Become less obsessive over my ex (lets call him Adolpho)
  • lessen my self destructive tendencies
  • Be less rigid/emotional about small things (hence doing my part to bring down the amount of bickering we do.)

    Niani’s list is:
  • Communication/openness
  • Attentiveness
  • Showing love/affection
  • Shifting language to avoid bickering

    I think that this is really gonna help us. And I have to remember that while I am doing this for myself, and for the forgiveness of Adolpho, it is, most importantly, for Niani, because he deserves the best version of me possible.
self growth self improvement relationship changing habits mental wellbeing

Furries are pretty neat

Am I in denial? I don’t think I’m a furry but it’s super duper neat,

But I don’t have a fursona, but I could make one if I wanted to? I’m not good at drawing animals or anthropomorphic creatures, but I could improve. Idk Idk if I’m in denial abt this or something, I’ve been called a furry for years but I just think it’s neat, but it would be pretty cool ig…

furry new furry? furry in denial?

TW: ED

I triggered myself back into my eating disorder. It’s been gnawing at me for weeks and I finally decided to bite the bullet and do the trigger. I hate it, I hate myself, and I hate how easy it is to slip back into old habits. Yet it’s so addictive. The hunger, the numbers dropping, even the triggering material itself. Please never do what I did, please avoid this life. It’s like a drug, you always want more. It’s nearly impossible to fully recover, at least for me. I’ve been clean for months and now I’m back, I feel like such a failure, yet it feels strangely good. I hate it. I hate it here. Everyone is gonna be disappointed and upset with me.

tw triggers tw Ed not promoting tw disordered eating